Sticks & stones hurt * Words do too!

No one is immune from being hurt by the words of another.  Sometimes those words come at us directly with the intention of causing pain or hurt.  They might be spoken to another about us in secret or another trend that seems to be even more hurtful and even more dangerous to the cause of Christ is speaking hurtfully in a way that uses what we'll call judgement.  There are a lot of verses in the Bible that speak directly to this topic.  (Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:37, James 4:11-12, John 7:24, Romans 2:1-3, Romans 16:17-18, John 8:7, James 4:11.  If you'd like to have a look at these, I'll share them at the very bottom of this post)

Let me first say, I'm not perfect.  I'm not saying that I haven't been guilty of any of these in my life.  As I go through life, sometimes merely pulling myself at a crawl because it's simply the best I can muster, I'm changing...I hope for the good.  Not just for the good but for the best.  I hope that as I'm getting older, my life might more closely resemble the model that Christ has set for me.  Now, do I fail?  Absolutely, daily!  

It seems that everyone has an opinion.  Not only do we have an opinion but we want everyone else to share those thoughts with us.  It's almost as though we're campaigning for our cause or our rights to be heard.  We're so busy declaring what we're against as well as what we dislike and even who we dislike.  In our quest to be heard and be right, we must ask ourselves, "what's the agenda in this type of action or conversation?"  Is it to further the gospel, to make Christ known among men, to encourage people to be in fellowship with other believers, to be a light in a world that grows darker by the minute?  

I see this happening in the church and even in Christian school.  It's like an epidemic that's out of control.  We spew hatred and judgement from our mouths and the next minute we're leading a prayer or participating in leading a Bible study. 

James 3:10-12

From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 

12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

So here's the thing, if we're declaring Christ & His cause or His love, how can we be bashing our neighbors or talking bad about our classmates or someone in the next pew?  When you were little, perhaps this was something that you heard mentioned (often), 'sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt  you'.  The truth is, they do hurt!  In this walk through life, it's easy to place blame on the fact that 'we're only human'.  True but what about what The Word says, "Be holy, because I am holy" (Lev. 11:44; 1 Pet. 1:16).  In our current society, we've dismissed notions of holiness, we've merely replaced them with private, moralistic notions. We act as if holiness were either outdated or something that characterizes only a small (if important) part of our lives.  The thoughts of being holy isn't just something that applies to a revival or old-time religion.  No doubt about it, our times have changed.  We're living in an era where technology is front & center. Everything we want to know is at our fingertips and available to us in an instant.  The method in which we learn may have changed but the expectation of a Holy God has not.  It seems that in our current time, holiness is thought of in terms of being  good, having good morals, making good decisions, being honest about your finances, not cheating on a test at school or remaining sexually pure.  Unfortunately, we've changed or adapted the definition of holiness to meet us where we are.  We've expected The Word to change with the expectations and opinions of the world today.  The bible is very clear and I cling to this, Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today & forever.  If He's the same then He is completely and totally unchanged.  This means that unlike us, He doesn't change His mind, or His opinion.  He is constant.  His word is the same today as it was 2,000 years ago!  This gives me great comfort.  In a world where the expectation of people may change, we have a constant.  Keeping up with changes in fashions, pleasing your friends, staying on top of local laws or learning the new math may be daunting but you have hope.  There is a holy God who has set a standard. His love is constant and unwavering.

Let me share the rest of the passage from above.  It sheds great light on this truth that I'm doing my best to articulate. 

 James 3:13-18

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 

14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 

15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 

16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 

17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 

18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Unfortunately, in this day and time...we all want to be right.  We all have an opinion and we want everyone to embrace it or be on our side.  Maybe some of the words are prompted out of jealousy or envy.  Regardless of the motive, it is wrong!  Verse 15 from above tells us very clearly that this type of speech is demonic or from satan himself.  His sole intention is to cause discord amongst people.  I've always told my kids, every action will either promote the cause of Christ or give the devil an edge.  Again, I'm not perfect but I never want to think that my actions are one that makes the enemy happy or feel as though I've given one to his team on the scoreboard so to speak.  

So, what if this is us.  What if they words we've spoken have caused harm?  Repent!  This simply means to ask for forgiveness.  You may need to go the person that you've hurt and ask for their forgiveness.  One thing that's difficult to remember, we can't control how they respond.  If they choose to not accept an apology, they'll have to work that out themselves.  If you're truly sorry and meant the apology you've offered, you've done what you can and you must move on.  Also, the Lord is always available to hear from you and hear your heart.  Forgiveness is available.  What if you're the recipient of hurtful words?  Maybe you could go to the one who's hurt you.  It's always best to meet it head on rather than also talking about them and prompting the viscous cycle to swirl out of control and hurting even more people in the process.  

 In the midst of change, in the midst of your heartache or the storm in which you might be in, He is just the same. Choose your words with great caution. Once they're out, you can't take them back.  Let us be more concerned about reaching others for the cause of Christ rather than beating down our brothers and sisters.  A little kindness goes a long way!

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Matthew 7:1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

James 4:11-12 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

Romans 2:1-3 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

Romans 16:17-18 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

John 8:7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

James 4:11 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.